like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
