Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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