You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize