I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize