My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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