I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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