what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
