what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
