I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
