New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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