How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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