Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
whose parrot is this?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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