im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
