I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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