i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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