Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
