3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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