I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
