But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
