shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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