Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
