I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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