I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
