this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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