i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
