you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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