when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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