Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
