I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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