yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
