My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Im part way to drunk.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
