ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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