My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize