i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
