my vag is so smooth its legendary
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
