She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
