We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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