She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
