Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
