not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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