I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
