I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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