the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
