I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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