Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
