If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
