the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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