I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
