apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
