This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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