i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
