are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
