He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
