clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
