And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She even gives head with a lisp.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
