Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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