The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Drake has all the answers
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
