i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
