i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
