thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
