Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
