Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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