So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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