you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
