Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
