He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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