You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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